How I became Alice of the Wonderland?

I had have enough of miscommunication due to my failure to adapt to how 'r' is uttered as between 'd' and 'l' sound. Usually it sounds 'l' to me.

Case 1:
nihonjin: ohayou alis.
aris: what did you say?
nihonjin: alis
aris: no it is A-ris, Aris.
nihonjin: alis.
aris: why don't you say arigatou?
nihonjin: ari..
aris: ok, then add 's"
nihonjin: alis
aris: aalis na lang ako dito.
and that is how I became Alice of the Wonderland here in Japan.

and the contrast, Case 2,  when 'l' becomes 'r'
nihonjin: alis, next week is erection
aris: what?
nihonjin: erection day
aris: *confused* so what do you do?
nihonjin:people vote for new governor
aris: lechehan

case 3
nihonjin: did you see the new praystation?
aris: where?
nihonjin: tyotto matte *shows*
aris: oh dear, it is playstation. *kamehame wave*

case 4
aris: have you seen the zero gravity of kate upton?
nihonjin: nope
aris: come here i will show you.
nihonjin: is she single?
aris: yes she is single
nihonjin: honto? really?
aris: yes she is. check it.
nihonjin: *reads an article in wikipedia and suddenly* you are a liar!
aris: what is the problem?
nihonjin: you said she is single but she is already a mother.
aris: how can that be? let me see the article and HAHAHA!The model becomes mother.


Note: This posting has the consent of the concerned parties involved.

A year after I lost my knapsack in Narita airport

The Earth has made one complete evolution in its orbit since I came here in Japan. I am glad I took the risk of coming over even under on study leave without pay. I was thinking twice if I can survive Tokyo touted as one of the most expensive cities of the world with only one money source. I am more than overjoyed because I found out what I can still possibly do despite the adversities of establishing myself in a foreign land.

Days before my coming here a year ago, I was not that excited. I was engrossed with all my skywatching and lecture commitments that I was running after time. I was so very busy I never had the chance to savor my last few days in the Philippines. In fact, I did not even have the time to emote because I was catching up breath each day to set things before I leave. It is only in the airplane where I got to practice my introductory message in Nihonggo to my research adviser only to end up like this right after I went out of the airport’s meeting area.

adviser: welcome to japan!
siraris: *^*(*^&*! Where is my knapsack?

I completely lost whatever grace I have thinking that my bag contains my research data and important documents. I would like to cry at that time but I hated I cannot because of the place and in the presence of my adviser.  I cannot understand Nihonggo at that time but I can sense that my adviser seemed to be cancelling/changing appointments by the tone of his voice. He was calm and I was not. He was somehow amused of the situation and I was fidgety to go back. However, I was made to wait as if it was an eternity to check and trace my path. When I saw my green bag, I hugged my bag as if it was a long lost dog. I had never gone out of the airport and I already had a blooper.

I am a light traveller. However, I was not when I flew here thinking it would take a year before I can go home again. I know exactly what to bring when traveling abroad and stay for two weeks which was my longest but staying for a year is a different challenge. Now try to imagine how to fit in in your luggage food and stuffs. I maximized the baggage allowance so I brought two luggage, a knap sack, a sling bag, and two paper bags.  Now, do you wonder now why I lost my bag in the very first place? Well, we rode a train in going to Tokyo but we used an escalator. How can you manage to pull it off with all my belongings? Shamelessly, I asked my adviser to carry my other luggage and that makes for blooper number 2.

For the third blooper, I was stupid not to realize that the door is automatic glass door.

and it goes on and on…

- asking for switches to turn on the lights in the hallway

- pulling the plug without twisting it first

- shouting in the shower every time I have to take a bath because it is too hot for me to handle. I used to forget that Japanese set their shower at the warmest temperature.

- cooking my agumaa, dried fish, using sake, an alcoholic drink. who would not think that the liquid below is not a cooking oil? it goes with other seasonings.



- telling a fellow student I wanted my document photocopied, folded and stapled. He nodded and I hurriedly went back to third floor to get my stapler only to find my photocopied documents folded, sorted and stapled by the machine. Now imagine how stupid do I look holding my stapler.

- bumping on glass doors when I expect it to open

- apologizing for causing the power plugs to fall only to find out it is magnetically attached to the wall

- losing myself in Shinjuku

- finding out that the air dryer for hand can be found at the side of the sink

- experimenting with the bidet (it is so embarrassing I don’t want to tell)

-causing so much trouble for not wanting to have cellular phone in the next eight months

- replying "f*ck y**" in my sweetest voice as well to kids who think i am an american because i speak english and they don't even realize what the meaning of these words

- mimicking students who check on me without them knowing that they reflect on my laptop's computer screen

- cooking dried fish to the agony of Japanese every time I do it especially on a rainy day forgetting to switch the ventilator

- walking on the yellow lane which is reserved (honestly I  was stupid and naïve) for the PWD

- looking, ok staring at high school couple smooching in the bench of a mall

- describing a Japanese woman fat. In the Philippines, it is common to greet someone, “uy nagtambok ka.”

- using what i thought was lemon grass but it was not ruining my sinanglay, using a leafy vegetable which i thought is kulitis

- showing my how-can-you-afford-to-go-out-with-that-kind-of-looks face

- telling some people that “cheers” or “kampai” equivalent in Filipino word is “numta” from inom tayo instead of tagay or mabuhay

- laughing at Nihonggo words like futa, fufu, keki, suka, taiyaki, and yuta.

- laughing upon understanding the meaning of katakana. for example, dora is dollar while toire is toilet.

- shouting in convenience store, “is there anyone who knows English here?” whenever I am frustrated to buy stuffs and nobody can understand what I wanted exactly

- carrying my back pack as is without transferring it in front during rush hours

- laughing like there is no tomorrow in my desk thinking i was alone and everyone was in their class

- letting people serve me alcohol without returning the favor. it is rude in japan not to.

- providing a very bad and offending example in a Japanese class

how it went? Japanese root word plus you means telling someone of doing things together. For example, tabe (for eat) when added with –yo becomes “let us eat”. When it was my turn to give example, I thought of the expression at home when we tell each other “tulog na ‘ta! Hay gab-i na”. I told someone nemasuyo which would mean “let us sleep together” and I told a woman.

hay, turog ta! I learned my lesson no to do it again and I am terribly sorry for my ignorance, okay you may call it stupidity.

albino

I subscribe to the idea that expanding english vocabulary requires learning commonly used prefixes. sciences in particular make use of jargon which often times can be understood with basic understanding of certain prefixes and suffixes.

Since a Japanese friend  wants to expand his English vocabulary, I also provided a copy of this list of scientific root words, prefixes and suffixes.

siraris: aero means air. it can be found in words like aerosols. so this will give you an idea that it pertains to air. anyway just remember "aer" as in "air".

friend: ok.

siraris: agri refers to field or soil. example is agriculture and agronomy.

friend: yes!

siraris: the suffix -al makes a word becomes a modifier. so when a noun is modified to end in -al then it possesses such characteristic. can you think of words ending in -al?
friend: yes, financial, universal, etc.

siraris: alright, we proceed to alb- prefix. this refers to white. actually, this is more applicable in sciences because there is a pheneomenon known as albinism in some organisms.
friend: really?

siraris: yes, there is. in fact, crocodiles are generally black but there exists albino crocodile. in fact, other animals also exhibit albinism like turtles, frogs, etc. (click here to see other albino animals)

siraris: what you only need to remember is that albinism happens when a colored animals exhibit unusual whiteness which is unusual in their group. this is never a problem in the Philippines because we call these people as albino.

friend: really? an albino person?

siraris: yes, because we are generally dark-skinned so when one is unusually white then he is an albino. so if your race is black andyou become white then you are an albino.

friend: so is michael jackson an albino?

siraris: hahaha! rotfl

my encounter with the glass doors and anything automatic

sa una ko gid nga pag abot sa japan..

teacher: una ka lang sulod sa guesthouse kay istoryahon ko anay ya manager.
siraris: sige sensei.

sa marayo pa lang naglibog na ulo ko kung paano ako makasulod
siraris: *thinking mode* waay man giha ang salamin. waay man doorknob. a siguro sa kilid.

nag agto sa kilid..
siraris: *thinking mode* amo man di ang sistema. diin ni sila gaagi sa likod?

nagbalik sa binit kag maghulat sa sensei..
sensei: insa diya pa ikaw sa gwa.
siraris: indi ko kamaan kung diin ang pwertahan.
sensei: magparapit kaw diyan automatic lang nga mabukas day-a.
siraris: hahaha!

kay madulom pa sa sulod..
siraris: diin dya ya mga switch ka suga?
manager: automatic  na sila. kung matuipan kaw kang sensor ti masiga lang na sila. gdepende na sa hulag.
siraris: *yuhom yuhom*

sa kusina kada luto ko sang una automatic lang gasiga ang suga pero kung matindugon kaw lang gakapatay tana kag dayon ko hambal..
siraris: sin-o ya nagpatay kang suga?

asta sang urihi naanad don ako kang mga automatic.

apang isa ka adlaw nag agto ako sa isa ka building. pagpadulong ko palang nagbukas na dayon ang buruk-on nga pwertahan. apang sang tapos ko na ang orubrahon ko sa lugar nga ato nagtuyo na ako maggwa.
siraris: *sa panghuna huna* uy hala insa waay nagbukas haw? basi naguba. abi maatras ko gamay kag liwaton basi matuipan ako kang sensor *waay man nagbukas* hay nakita o nga sa atubangan na may elevator basi ginapaabot na nga magbukas sara ang pwerta ka elevator. mayad pa masulod ako sa elevator kag masaka dayon manaog naman *waay gihapon nagbukas* siguro tuya gid ako mahalin sa pihak para magbukas hay? maumpisa ko bala sa rayu rayo gawa kag parapitan liwat ang pwertahan *masubo apang waay gihapon nagbukas*

kag samtang gatindog ako marapit sa pirtahan may nagsuok ka anang alima kangtandog sa gatapik sa salamin. ya ***** nya pisliton mo gali ya push  kung maggwa sa amo lang to nga pwerta.

*kag nagkumod kumod* abi kung automatic saramaha ninyo.

Guess who I met in Tokyo..

Meeting Macho after almost 12 years since he left the Philippines is next to impossible due to the population density of Tokyo with more or less 10 million people, I don't have a cellular phone, we are not friends in any social network, he changed his email address, and he did not know I am here in Japan. But how in the world did we meet?

Call it destiny but a Nihonjin friend happened to meet him and Macho mentioned Iloilo. This Nihonjin prompted to ask him if he knows me as if I am a prominent figure in Iloilo City. Macho handed his calling card and we exchanged emails and agreed to meet today.

Well, we had a great time reminiscing the good old days in Regional Science Teaching Center at West Visayas State University where he used to work as Japan Overseas Volunteer and I worked as a student assistant.

This incident made me reflect on something unfathomable. When statistical probability cannot explain the matter of chance, we cannot help but think that it was meant to be. I believe God wants me to be happier today. Second, if two friends are destined to meet after long separation how much more lovers? Someday, someone will come along our way that God wants us to be with forever.

embrace yourself

I used to think before that I have loved myself enough. If not for the coldness dropping day by day, I won't realize that there is something more that He wants me to see. So today, I will start embracing myself more. I have never embraced myself more than I have ever recalled if not for this coldness. At night, I will lovingly sleep in fetal position to remind myself that I was once a fetus without any worries and care of this world. So let the coldness remind you to love yourself more and nurture the child in you.

numtah

those who know me very well can attest that i cannot drink beer and i dont have any social drinking life or lingo. in here, i found it hard to go to dinner without having to worry about the probability of drinking but my research adviser is kind enough to protect me from having allergy due to drinking.

until one day i was told to join a dinner without my adviser's presence. it was unplanned and i found it hard to refuse because i need to accompany a guest.

host: ok let us celebrate blah. blah. blah. cheers!
everyone: cheers!
host: kampai!
everyone: kampai!
guest: in our country instead of kanpai we say gezondheid or proost. how about in the philippines? how do you say cheers?
siraris: *thinking mode* (could it be mabuhay? well if i say mabuhay they might hear flight stewardess saying mabuhay or pinay candidates and expect drinking afterwards. ohh this is harder than physics. then i notice everyone was anticipating and i guess nangangawit na waiting for me to finally tell them. that was how long i was in thinking mode. imagine that.)
siraris: *raised y glass with confidence and blurted out* NUMTAH!
everyone: NUMTAH!

so from now on, for the sake of uniformity, i now declare that cheers would also mean numtah. with or without h will do as long as you say it with conviction the way i did.

explanation: ang mga bugoy sa amon kung maglabay ko ginatib-ong nila ang ila baso kag maghambal kanakon nga, "sir aris, inom ta." pero kung hubog na gani hambal dulang nanda, "numtah"